you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize