so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
