Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
