But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
