PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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