Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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