I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i may or may not be watching the land before time
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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