It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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