Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
