I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize