is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
