well I can't set my house on fire every night
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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