You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
