There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize