like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
