Need sex. Gaining weight.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
