Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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