She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
