Duck Duck Cougar?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
