he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
