I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Soap is not a condiment
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
