Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
