Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
