the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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