I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I fill condoms, not promises.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
