im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
