For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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