doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Someone came in the potted fern
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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