it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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