Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
