we made out on top of his cat.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
