You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
