I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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