I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
