If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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