They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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