oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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