i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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