i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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