Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
