you would pick up someone in the library
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
