Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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