did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
