Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
