I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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