Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
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