I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
