i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
