Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
