yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
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I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
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I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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