could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
