Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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