he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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