you traded sex for a burrito?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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