he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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