i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
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