I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
