I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I AM VODKA MAN
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
third nipple confirmed
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
