Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
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stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
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downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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